


Constants and Changes

by larparella



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Because Evak is the only thing that makes me believe in love, Evak Endgame, Happy Ending, Jonas Noah Vasquez is a Good Friend, Light Angst, M/M, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 00:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19841410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larparella/pseuds/larparella
Summary: “Look, I know about your mom but don’t bullshit me right now dude. I know this isn’t about her.” Jonas probably would’ve dropped the situation then and there, had it not been for the fact that this wasn’t Isak’s first time running off like this. It was actually the 3rd time, at least the 3rd time Jonas had noticed. He was up to date with how Isak and his mom were doing, he knew things were going pretty smoothly right now. He was also much more perceptive after smoking a bowl and was picking up on Isak’s terrible lying.“Are you too high?” Jonas chuckled, trying to disarm the boy. He did look up and finally make eye-contact. Progress, Jonas thought. Isak gave him an incredulous look and huffed.





	1. Jonas

**Author's Note:**

> Or the one where Isak realizes Jonas is too good of a guy and has his world flipped upside down by a guy named Even.

“Isak…” Jonas’ voice was soft, pleading for the boy to tell him what was wrong. “I don’t wanna pressure you man, but I’m worried.”

Isak couldn’t even manage to lift his eyes to meet Jonas’. They were cooped up in some random chic’s bathroom, and Isak was high as shit. Too high, he thought. Way too fucking high to be trying to have this conversation, but Jonas cornered him in here when he saw Isak storm off in the middle of the party hiding his face in his hands.

“It’s nothing man. I’m just - I don’t know, I guess I spaced out and started thinking about my mom, and…”

“Look, I know about your mom but don’t bullshit me right now dude. I know this isn’t about her.” Jonas probably would’ve dropped the situation then and there, had it not been for the fact that this wasn’t Isak’s first time running off like this. It was actually the 3rd time, at least the 3rd time Jonas had noticed. He was up to date with how Isak and his mom were doing, he knew things were going pretty smoothly right now. He was also much more perceptive after smoking a bowl and was picking up on Isak’s _terrible_ lying.

“Are you too high?” Jonas chuckled, trying to disarm the boy. He did look up and finally make eye-contact. _Progress_ , Jonas thought. Isak gave him an incredulous look and huffed.

“Maybe. I don’t know,” Isak sniffled. His eyes dropped back to his hands and he twiddled with his thumbs.

“We can ditch if you want,” Jonas tried. “We’re only a few blocks down from my place.”

“I don’t wanna ruin your night dude. Plus Magnus and Mahdi are gonna be wondering where we went, and,”

“Isak, if leaving this one party of the hundreds we’re gonna go to and getting some fresh air is what you need, then that's what were gonna do, okay?” Jonas got up and offered his hand to pull the boy up. As he did, Isak’s face contorted again into a mixture of embarrassment, and anger, and utter sadness.

“I’m sorry,” he pushed out.

“Don’t. Is, look at me,” Jonas grabbed his face in his hands. “You’re my best friend. I care about you. I want to help any way I can, okay? Don’t apologize.” He pulled the boy into a hug and held him for a moment. Isak just stood limp, trying to stop his crying. “Come on, we’ll go out the back.” Jonas pulled Isak’s hoodie over his head and tightened the strings mockingly, but Isak was grateful for the extra shield. He unlocked the door and lead them through the party.

“Hey man, where are you going?” Some guy called out to a rushing Jonas. Isak didn’t bother to look up to see who it was. He kept his head low and trailed close behind Jonas.

“I'm not feeling too good man, I’m gonna catch a cab home.” He heard Jonas reply. _Why does he have to be such a good guy too_ Isak thought. He was so grateful for Jonas, he really was. And how deeply he cared for Isak, and how lucky they were to have found each other as kids, and how easy it was to be around Jonas, how they could have a conversation across a room with their eyes, how Jonas listened to him rant about his parents, how when Isak would get too drunk, or too high in this case, Jonas wouldn’t hesitate to make sure he was okay.

The same reasons he loved Jonas were why he hated him. He hated how Jonas didn’t realize Isak was completely infatuated. How he always wanted to be close to him. How he loved nothing more than to hear him play cheesy songs on his guitar, wishing he would turn over to Isak and sing to him. All that corny cliche shit he had tried to imagine himself doing with some girl, but instead, could only see himself doing with Jonas.

The edges of Isak’s hoodie were slightly damp by the time they got to Jonas’ flat, but he had at least stopped crying. Now he was just staring blankly into space.

“Do you mind if I change out of this real quick?” Jonas asked. Isak shook his head. “Do you want sweats or something?” Isak shook his head.

What he really wanted was to forget that he thought he was in love with his best friend, and that he couldn’t stand to see him at a party dancing with some girl without absolutely crumbling.

“Okay, well, I’ll be right back,” Jonas spoke. He stumbled a little as he turned around and chuckled as he regained his balance. The weed was _very much_ still going through his system, but he felt like he was sober enough to at least make some popcorn or something for the two to eat while they watched a movie. Something Isak liked and was a favorite already, like Bad Boys II - once Jonas changed. Right, that’s what he was doing.

Isak sat down on the couch and just stared. Doing anything else felt wrong for the time being. Jonas eventually scuttled out of his room and put something in the microwave Isak didn’t quite fully process. He came and sat down next to him, sinking into the couch.

“So, you wanna watch a movie? I was think-“

“Jonas, I-“

“… you what?”

Just when Isak thought he was done crying, he felt his eyes betraying him again. His vision began going a little blurry as he felt the panic rising in his chest. _Why am I so afraid of this_ he thought. _This is Jonas. This is just Jonas_ he tried to calm himself down. For the second time that night Jonas took Isak’s face in his hands. He closed the space between their foreheads and Isak felt his body freeze.

“I don’t say it a lot man, but you know I love you right? I'm sorry if I sound like a sap right now, but I do. Maybe its the jay,” he laughed, and Isak felt his heart swell. “but, I really do. And if you’re not ready to tell me what's going on, that's fine, but, nothing is ever gonna change the fact that you’re my best friend and I love you.” The microwave went off and Jonas turned his head for a moment having forgotten the popcorn. He turned back to Isak and smiled softly.

Isak let himself look his friend in the eyes. His body was too busy panicking about Jonas’ hands to worry about the angst that had taken hold of him before. He was so close to him he could smell his breath - a mixture of beer, and smoke, and something distinctly Jonas.

And he kissed him.

And just as quickly as their lips were pressed together, they pulled apart.

“Oh…” Jonas breathed.

_fuckfuckfuckfuck_

“I'm sorry, I-“ Isak pushed himself off the couch, ready to sprint out of there, but of course Jonas wouldn’t let him off that easy. He grabbed his wrist before he could even step past the coffee table.

“No, Is.” Jonas looked up at him. “I’m just… confused. Hold on.” He tugged at him to sit down again, and Isak complied. Though he wanted nothing more than the world to just swallow him whole right now, he just avoided looking at Jonas as they sat there in silence.

“… For the love of god Jonas, just say something.” Isak let out with his eyes closed.

“So… does this mean you… like me?” Jonas asked. Isak gave a tiny nod, still refusing to look at him. “Since when?” Isak shrugged, barely bringing his shoulders closer to his ears since they were already resting so close. “So, are you gay?” Isak shrugged again. “…Can I kiss you?” Jonas asked. Isak finally looked up, a look of disbelief painted across his face.

“Um,” Isak thought out-loud. He gave a tiny nod, skeptical at this point as to whether he could trust this was real or a dream.

Jonas rested his hand on Isak’s neck and cradled his cheek. He leaned in, hesitantly, Isak could tell, and then kissed him. Isak kissed him back, and they sat there, kissing for a few seconds. His lips were just as soft and tender as he had imagined, and it was overwhelming to have had the space between them closed after so long. Jonas pulled away, and Isak felt dizzy, like he could pass out then and there. When he thought he couldn’t feel anymore sick he let his eyes flutter open to see Jonas’ pained expression.

“Is, I’m sorry. I don’t think I-“

He knew exactly what this meant.

“Nei! Nei, nei, nei, nei, nei,” Isak rushed out. They were the first confident words to fall out of his mouth all night. “No, _I’m_ sorry, It's okay. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Isak comforted him. His brain wasn’t processing everything, just that Jonas looked hurt, and Isak felt like it was his fault, and the last thing he wanted was Jonas feeling any kind of pain.

“No, dude, I mean - I'm sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way. And I - I’ve never really thought about a guy like that, I just wanted to make sure, just in case, cause I love you man, I really do, I just don’t think it's like that,” he said, his pace slow and thoughtful. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Jonas,” Isak said with a small voice. _He really is just too good of a fucking guy, isn’t he?_

Jonas pulled Isak into a hug, and Isak let himself hug him back, his brain still not quite thinking straight (ha). Still very much in shock at what had just transpired, and not knowing what to do with himself, he just let the hug happen, and they sat there for what felt like infinity.

“Are we still good, Is?” Jonas asked, a slight tremble to his voice.

“We’re good, Jonas… We’re good.” Isak assured him. He assured himself. _This’ll pass_ , he thought. _It has to_. _It’s just a crush_. _This friendship is way more important than some stupid crush_ , he told himself. Without the air of hope and doubt between them, Isak repeated to himself, _I’ll learn how to get over it_.

~ ~ ~


	2. The Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Par-tay!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, “Bust a Move” is a bop. Go listen to it if you haven’t. If you grew up on Disney Channel, you might remember it by that criminally catchy remix done by Lil Romeo for that Max Keeble movie.

And he did. He got to the point where Jonas was just his attractive friend, someone he could acknowledge he felt something for at one point. He still wasn’t a big fan of the girls who threw themselves at him, but that came more from a place of platonic jealousy. Of a  _ hey, fuck off, can I hang out with my friend without you trying to get on his dick at this stupid party _ kinda way.

They got to the point where they could joke about it occasionally. It caught Isak off guard the first time. They were on their way to meet Magnus, along with Mahdi, with slightly fuzzy heads from beer. A group of girls walked by them and clearly made the effort to check the guys out. Jonas gave them the satisfaction of a smirk, even though Isak knew they weren’t really his type. Mahdi saluted as they continued past them and looked back. He heard the girls giggling once they got a little distance. Isak looked ahead indifferently. 

“Do we know them? I feel like we know them,” Mahdi asked.

“I know the ginger ones a 1st year - friends with Sofia I think? Or was it Ella? That little group, you know who I’m talking about. No clue who the other ones were,” Jonas said.

Mahdi looked over at Isak and laughed to himself.

“What?” Isak asked.

“Nothing, I’m just wondering how you manage to score chicks when you don’t even look at ‘em, and then bam, they’re magically all over you,” Mahdi explained.

Isak chuckled and shrugged.

“Just not his type,” Jonas laughed and elbowed him, waiting for him to catch his eyes.

It took Isak a moment to realize what Jonas meant, and he looked back at the boy with a surprised but amused face.

“No, my type is definitely tall blondes with blue eyes,” Isak teased back, taking a jab at his friend.

Jonas feigned offense back at Isak, both clearly on the same page, to Isak’s relief, and joking in secret next to Mahdi.

“Ahh, so you’re just into Aryan girls then, you could’ve just said that,” Mahdi joked.

Isak gave Mahdi an overly dramatic ‘well you know how it is’ look, leaving the three laughing to themselves. 

He was grateful this was normal. Jonas was the only one who knew, but for now that was enough and Isak was grateful that things were cool between them. 

Magnus met them outside and they continued on their way to a party Jonas had gotten them invited to. 

The natural progression of their banter was to gang up on Magnus, and quite quickly he started giving them fodder.

“You know what? I think I’m just gonna chill with the bros tonight, I shouldn’t be on the pull right now,” Magnus said thoughtfully.

The other 3 boys shared a look and cracked up.

“What? I’m being serious! You know I think it’s good for me to be single right now.”

“You say it like you have a choice,” Isak quipped.

“Bro!” Mahdi laughed.

“Ouch,” Magnus chuckled.

~ ~ ~

**_This here's a tail for all the fellas_ **

**_Tryin; to do what those ladies tell us_ **

**_Get shot down cause ya over-zealous_ **

**_Play hard to get females get jealous_ **

**_Okay smarty go to a party_ **

**_Girls are scantily clad and showin; body_ **

**_A chick walks by you wish you could sex her_ **

**_But you're standing on the wall like you was Poindexter_ **

Dance circles, and beers, and some shit Isak had left over from another weekend in his pocket. He honestly couldn’t even remember what it was, just that it made it a little easier to let loose, and he’d be sober by 2, so he could still walk home. Probably better than getting black out again and wasting all my money on a cab, he thought. 

Before he could tell, Jonas was gone to who knows where. Mahdi was sitting on a coach talking up a storm with some girls. Even Magnus was leaning against a wall clearly flirting with God knows who.

He didn’t mind it too much most nights. Tonight wasn’t really one of those nights.

He ducked out to get some fresh air and stood in a strangers backyard with his face to the sky, eyes closed, hearing his heart beating. The cold felt good on his skin. The substances swimming around his system kept him warm enough that he could stand out here with his hands outside of his pockets without it hurting. His fingers were stretched out at his sides, his cheeks starting to get pink, and his nose starting to sting with the deep breathes he was making himself take.

_ God _ , he thought.  _ I don’t even know if you’re out there. Can you pray with your thoughts? Yeah, people pray quietly in churches _ , Isak answered for himself.  _ I know we haven’t talked in a while. Or by choice many times. In fact every time I’m here it’s either because mama made me or to ask you for a favor. Your whole thing is unconditional love though, right? I’m not that much of an idiot, I know whatever cosmic force it is you are is beyond those words in a book written by humans, but - please don’t hate me. _ Isak sighed, opening his eyes to a cloud of condensation.  _ Would it be wrong to ask you for somebody? Somebody I could love? Who would love me?  _

He felt stupid now, staring into the expanse of the night sky and pleading with an abstract force in his head. Like a child crying because they felt they were being treated unfairly.  _ There’s nothing out there but space, _ he thought. 

No, he didn’t believe in God, but his wishes were true.

~ ~ ~


End file.
